Lately I haven’t been having good days. You should know that because of this Covid-19 pandemic, our movements at this prison have been severely limited. We been lucky to have no real outbreak of the virus in the institution but the stress behind being lockdown has reached a boiling point. To be honest, I’m the one who’s been stressing the most. Before I make this emotional admission, I understand that we are all going through troubling times no matter what the situation is. It’s just most of the people on my phone list haven’t been answering my calls. No matter how many times I’m calling, it seems as though people aren’t trying to deal with me right now. I know that might not be their intentions but when you are incarcerated and have so much time to think then all types of thoughts run through your mind. For those who can relate, sometimes all we want is to hear from those on the outside to distract us from what we are used to seeing and hearing on the inside.
In my case, I just need to hear a familiar voice other than the ones I’m forced to hear everyday. I rather for those people on the outside to just answer and say. “Hey, I’m sorry I can’t talk right now but you can call me when I’m not busy.” So as I was in my cell writing a serious “F-U” letter to send home, my attention was interrupted by the BREAKING NEWS coming across my T.V. screen. This is where I initially learned of the passing of our iconic Civil Rights hero, Congressman John Lewis. I remembered how here at Free Minds in dedication of the Congressman, one is able to become the recipient of a leadership position and promote to restore and maintain healthy conditions within the Book Club. (Shoutout to Shannon) After watching endless tributes to the late congressman on T.V. I realised that my life in general means much more than surviving to see the next day. It brings me to write about what PURPOSE means to me.
I’m currently having to write this essay from inside a prison cell. I’m not able to see the potential impact that this might have on the person whose reading it. I can’t give you an accurate depiction of what one goes through when he or she because not not everyone’s situation is the same. Majority of the people on the outside seem not to go dark on the subject of mass incarceration and prison reform but they have to totally focus on that one person that they know that’s locked up. It becomes even more personal seeing someone they love trapped behind prison walls because of a justice system that they supposed to believe in. As much as they try to support, people sometimes can’t take on the added responsibility that comes with it.
This is where I find the motivation to not only encourage myself but others to keep visualising the role one would want to embark on once given the chance to re-enter society. It’s humbling knowing that the doors of freedom are just a few short steps to walk through. Every other step after that should be totally focused on serving others. So appreciate all of the struggles even the constant oppression coming high up from the court system all the way down to some of these correctional officers who see us as a waste of life and treats us accordingly.
I feel as though my purpose is to leave behind these words for future generations to accept which many of us would like to accomplish. If WRITING from a prison cell can potentially change the lives of those considered hopeless or overhaul the power system of white supremacy then I can DIE happy knowing I contribute towards liberating those of the oppressed.
I know that I won’t be accepted in some circles because of the way people criticize and judge based on my past, especially the reason behind why I was incarcerated. But if I show tremendous success in the constructive work that results in changing lives then it will result in changing people’s perception of me So when you hear them say that I was FORMERLY INCARCERATED, I will wear it as a badge of honor knowing that I came out of prison with a mission, vision, and a purpose. I believe that your purpose is what gives your vision direction. It steers you to make things happen with the best intentions.
For those of us coming home soon, we have to make the world believe that we can put them back on their feet if there’s ever a need to get back up again. Everything you do from here on out must serve a purpose. Thank you for allowing the words I write to free you from your mind.