The Becomings of A Master: The Portrait Studies #1

By R. Zumar

During my hiatus I dived into a portrait study. First I drew a picture of a model out of an O Magazine. She was in profile with her hair braided beautifully on the top of her head.

Then I made a portrait of Oprah with her chin resting on her fist smiling. 

Everyone liked them both but I knew that I could do better. I spent hours just looking at the pictures and could see discrepancies. Then I asked myself, why couldn’t I see these discrepancies in my work while I was working on it ‘cause to me they were obvious. The eyes on Oprah maybe a centimeter off, throwing the entire proportion of everything else out of whack. The model’s nose did not line up correctly making her face seem flatter than it really was. 

I realized that I was being impatient. Not only in my work but in my life as well. It crept in unnoticed like a cricket when you open the door to enter your home. Then late in the hours of the night it chirps loudly keeping you up and you wonder, how the hell did it get in here?

I took a step back and I noticed I was becoming impatient with my surroundings. I wasn’t controlling the time, the time was trying to control me. The people around me claiming to be about progress but their acts are all of digression. That was me at one point of time and I also saw that I was being impatient with myself and this was showing in my work.

Once I realized this, I saw that I was creating art like I was in an all out sprint. So I was able to slow myself down and give each piece the time it deserved to be correct as possible. I ripped up the two portraits and threw them away. Threw away my impatience and created what you see now.

Can you tell who they are without me saying? If not then I have more work to do, hell, I always feel like I have more work to do. Always feeling like I can do better so I work towards that. With my art and with myself.

If you haven’t figured it out yet this is Jay-Z and Beyonce and I chose to do them during Black History month. So many dwell on our suffrage and not much on our success. It’s good to know and understand what has happened in our past because it has led up to where we are today. Though not good to let that knowledge make you cynical and foster so much hate that it cripples your life. That knowledge should foster passion, resilience, and the drive to make your life how you want it to be. These two have made history within my generation and they still have a lot of life to live to make more.

These are my portrait studies. This is The Becomings of a Master.

About the guest contributor:

“I’m Rayfel Zumar Bell known as R. Zumar and discovered my passion for art while incarcerated. I’m a self taught artist who strives to break into the art world even from a cell. I spend the lions share of my time thinking about and creating art, the rest working out and my favorite pass time, snacking :)! Through art I want to help others and contribute to various charities I care about; cancer, autism, sponsoring kids in need around the globe, and preserving wildlife.”

View the first three installments in the artist’s blog series here, here, and here.

Rayfel asked that we include this note within this post:

“The Justice Arts Coalition!
What can I say about The Justice Arts Coalition?
I could say that they do good work. I could say that they are wholeheartedly dedicated in what they do, but those would be understatements.
They don’t only do good work they do great work. They are not only wholeheartedly dedicated in what they do, they believe in what they do. They are not looking to exploit artist they deal with, they are looking to help the artist grow and I greatly respect and appreciate that.
Wendy, the founder of JAC, and those that work with her does a lot. This isn’t their jobs, this is work that they volunteer to do because they believe in the concept that people can grow to be better than they were. That when you give the voiceless a voice and let them speak their truth, you can bring forth the good that’s deep within them.
I trust that JAC will always do the right thing and I don’t have much in the world in way of wealth, but what I can contribute I will. So I ask of you out there in the world to contribute how ever you can. Even $1.00 can help in contributing to the cause.
I am the artist R.Zumar and I thank you all for just being here whoever you are. This is The Becomings of a Master.”

The Becomings of a Master, Part 2: Bohemia

by R. Zumar

Really, I don’t know where to start. How can I explain this to you so that you may understand what I’m going through. I’ve written and erased, written and erased again trying to find the right words to say, but really there are none. The only thing to do is explain what is going on and how I’m feeling about it all. I can only hope that you understand.

Art is my path to freedom, mentally and maybe one day physically. It’s my escape from these walls and the minds around me that would rather me to immerse myself into prison life than to d something productive. I’ve decided not to do tat and to keep going down the path of becoming a master artists. 

The becomings of a master isn’t a becoming of small cost and I would assume you to understand. Now in this environment the challenge is tenfold. I pay more for materials that I have access to than they cost out that and that doesn’t make sense to me. Essentially I pay double the price than you would pay out there and I don’t get money like that. I have family but don’t have family, have friends but don’t have friends. So really do I have family and friends? I scrap and scramble to survive in here and that’s doing it the right way. They take whatever I gain to buy art materials to further my studies. It’s like I have an apartment that  must pay rent for and a care note due. Food is slim and I have utilities to pay off. Do I pay my bills or do I risk to create. Well I’ve risked to create.

I’ve neglected a lot over the last few years and it’s catching up and I’m losing control of the time. Here when you lose control of your time it controls you. And I’ve sacrificed that control. Art was a hobby to keep myself out of trouble, then it became a challenge and a love. I can’t see myself not creating and trying to become better at this craft. I’ve never sold art and don’t know how it’s priced. I just got a formula from a book I read and will soon begin to apply it. I’ve tried an experiment with earlier works of mine to see how that goes. I can envision how to be successful with my work if I could do it myself. But I can’t do it myself because I don’t have the access. So the question I ask myself is, “Why keep sacrificing when there seems to be no hope in it and it has pushed me into a bohemia lifestyle? Why should I keep creating? How can I give to others when I have nothing to give?”. I don’t know. And something inside me overrides my doubts and I still pick up a pencil and start sketching for my next work. 

Bohemia
by R. Zumar

This is my first self-portrait, “Bohemia.” It’s of a sickly me working on a healthier version of myself. 

These are the things I struggle with in my becomings of a master. 

 

About the guest contributor:

“I’m Rayfel Zumar Bell known as R. Zumar and discovered my passion for art while incarcerated. I’m a self taught who strives to break into the art world even from a cell. I spend the lions share of my time thinking about and creating art, the rest working out and my favorite pass time, snacking :)! Through art I want to help others and contribute to various charities I care about; cancer, autism, sponsoring kids in need around the globe, and preserving wildlife.”