I still can’t figure out
if I am just angry at you
for refusing to love me or
if I only resent myself
for throwing away that love.
How many nights have I spent
shaking my head at
your lack of forgiveness
while ignoring the fact that
I may not actually deserve it.
It’s been almost ten years
and I still think of you
often.
I envision your faces
and your smiles and
I see them melt away
into scowls as I
imagine they do whenever
you think of me.
Forgive me,
I’m not throwing myself
a pity party;
I’m just telling you
the truth.
Forgive me,
this has been on my mind
for quite a while,
you see?
Forgive me,
but I still love
all of you.
Forgive me,
I beg you.
Forgive me.
