It is so, so hard, just to be awake,
to be aware, to be awash
in this solidified reality,
that reverberates with its emptiness.
I’m standing out in the murky pitch,
as that’s where grief placed me.
Darkness grows within the winds.
and emotional pain howls its bitterness.
But the precious moments I carry,
of the one I loved, the one I lost,
as there’s no escaping my feelings,
or memories, or grief that runs abound.
They reveal what I fear, what I love,
and what I’ve always held so dear.
I know that the one I’ve loved
is nowhere here and nowhere found.
As those are my sweetest memories,
the snapshots displaying our life
and as they replay daily of my loss,
it is more than an intense form of pain.
All the same, none of my attempts
have meaning, or any sense,
or prevent my suffering or free me from it.
The hard truth is: nothing can be right again.