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My name is Scottie I was born on June 20th 1971. When I was born I was to big for my mother to give birth to me and me and my mother died 3 times while she was giving birth to me but god didn’t want that so that is why I’m alive today. I was the firstborn son in my family to carry on the family name and the other grandchildren resented me because I was the favorite of my grandparents. My biological father when I was a little older would beat me if he thought I wasn’t doing something to his liking. I only seen him hit my mothe once and I ran away when I saw it because I was scared. I came back ours later I was about 7 or 8 years old. At nine he and my mother divorced because he was cheating on her. She was tormented by him doing that to her but she was strong in faith and raised me and my sister by herself. That same year that they divorced my first cousin Tammy which 1 year yonger than I got hit by a car and died my PaPaw also died and our house burned to the ground. And we had nothing but my mother never faultered we struggled but we got through it with gods help.

 

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My father would come and get me and my sister for the weekends to spend time with us but it wasn’t right because he wasn’t there for me growing up when a son needs direction from his father during the weekdays or when I would be at baseball, basketball, or football practice. So my mother did the best she could and she taught me alot about respect for your elders, loyalty, honesty and faith in the High Power which is god Almighty. She wanted me to be a christian she wanted me to grow up to be a preacher or doctor of lawyer she would tell me that I can do anything I wanted to as long as I put God first. And at the time I was bull headed Because I had to the grow up fast I had a little sister who looked up to me and I thought that I knew everything. Boy was I wrong. I moved in with Dad when I was on my 16th birthday he bribed me with a 1966 Ford Fairlane Black tented windows and candy Apple Red in color it was a hotrod the school wanted me to put a picture of it in the year book but I wouldn’t do it. I was shy and backward didn’t like to socialize with the other student the preppy ones that is. I had met the love 

 

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of my life when I moved in with dad. I had promised my mother when I left home that I would graduate from high school she wanted me to get that Diploma and dumb ass me in the 11th grade went ½ day for half the year skipped the other half before I got caught by my father so I quit school. Cheryl I thought was my life and we ended up having my wonderful daughter Amanda ½ my senior year was up and I remembered the promise that I had made to momma and that was my highschool Diploma. I went back to school and I graduated with my senior class and kept the promise that I had made to momma. My wife got pregnant shortly after that again and hi had my wonderful son Scottie Jr. I was doing dope in highschool Junior high and getting drunk before school in gradeschool momma acted like she didn’t know or I was just that good at playing the part that I wasn’t doing anything me and Cheryl were having problems so I decided I would go into the military U.S. Army from 1992 to 1995 during the Desert Storm Wartime area. After being in a year I started back on the dope seen because me and cheryl was having problems again. I would be out and in the field somewhere on a training exercise and I would steal a government vehicle to go back home and try to catch her when she was cheating on me but I 

 

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would get caught by my superiors and was facing a court marshel but as a mechanic and being a good actor while I was growing up I would make my superiors believe I had come back to the base to get a part to fix a vehicle that was down, and they would believe me. After being honorably discharged from the service me and Cheryl still wasnt getting along even though I was working. I had came home from work one day and the TV home stereo system and her clothes was gone. She had left me for another man and abandoned her children. It was very hard telling the kids that there mother was gone. I got custody of them by proving abandment on her part. I raised them by myself with the help of my mother and my sister. I took them to church the way my momma took me and my sister all the while I would be high on cocaine. The next year I gotten out of the service I was in an almost fatal car accident. Being the faithful and obediant survent to God my mother stayed at the hospital croshaying houseshoes

 

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and asking the people she would give them to to pray for her son who was on life support. Momma said after I had awaken the Doctor had come in to tell her that there was no hope and I wasn’t going to pull through she kept praying and they had took me off life support on christmas day in 1996. While I was serving in the military my momma called me one day and asked me if I would do something that was important to her and I said of corse mom anything you needin she says will you give me away I said momma now why would I do that I wouldn’t give you away for nothing. She says no son I’m getting married and being she didn’t know her father either thats why she ask me and I said I will have to call you back. Now my mother never talked to another man on the phone nor went on any dates while she raised me and my sister all I knew about this man my mom was wanting to marry was that he was a recovering acoholic. So i called her back and asked her if she was sure that she wanted to go through with this and she said yes so I did. I am so proud that i was able to do that for her

 

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Because he was the best father figure I could have asked for. So when I would come home on leave for me to get to know him I would ask him if he wanted to go hunting and we did several times but we would come home drunk and momma would raised one hell of a fit. But he never picked up that bottle and start drinking again when I would go back to my duty station for the love and respect that he had for my mother and that I am so very thankful for. Now after the car accident I had brain damage, a broken and crushed spine, 5 broken ribs, I lascerated my diaphragm, large inteston in 5 places and also punched my lungs and it was through my momma’s prayers to God that I’m alive today. While raising my kids I was using but I hid it from my kids I didn’t want them to know i was dealing and doing drugs to raise them. I was going to college so i could learn something different because of my disability. My ex-wife put them up to lyeng and say that I wasn’t taking care of them properly so they could be with her. She promised them a life on the beach and more or less a fantasy that she never owned up too and of course they believed her I ended up using more but I fought back and got them back and they were glad to be back with me. Time went so fast and they grew up and married and moved 

 

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away. My daughter raises my 2 grandchildren in church and is happyly married. My son followed my footsteps And started using I hate myself for that. For so many years of using I got tired of the dope I wasn’t getting high anymore I was just used to feel normal I kept going to jail and getting out and going back so I got mad at god and i wrote him a letter while i was in jail in 2018 and i wanted to feel god I put my name on the envelope and then I put god on it for where you put the senders address I said to myself how am i supose to send this to you you don’t even have an address so I put it inb my Bible and when I got up the next morning I was the only one in the pod and the TV wasn’t on I was walking around and all of a sudden the most awesome feeling came over me I felt the blood of Jesus Crist running through my vains and then I heard a voice in my head saying my child I have always been right here with you. That was the holy ghost and I know it. So I get out of jail the following year and the same day I OD on heroin the devil got me again and God never left me I go to a rehab and get kicked out because I have anger issues to deal with a nurse

 

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felt threatened by me and again I OD again on heroin and when I come to the doctor told me that I was no spring chicken anymore and that I was as close to death than anyone shead had ever worked with 4 cans of narcan but god said it wasn’t my time yet so I wgo to another rehab and get kicked out again saying that I used at there fascility but I didn’t I guess god was testing me ang I failed went back to using more then ever. I end up in jail again I get out and I get to spend a year with my momma then I lose her in march 2, 2020 to rectnal cancer and that was hard for me to deal with and I go back to using I end up in jail again and I’m so tired of going to jail and I ask god to help me and he does. They put me on home confinement cause I was on bond for a DUI with serious bodily injury. And again the first day out I go back to using but I am also trying to stay close to my higher power because he never left me. I was using for about 3 months and they called me in for a drug screen I of corse failed and back to jail I went I was there for 39 days and I had found this book I

 

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cant remember the name but it was a christain book and it wanted me to read a chapter a day for 40 days and so I would read each chapter 4, 5, even 6 times a day. During this time the girl I was with of course left me for someone else which I expected but she would put money on my books and was a good friend while I was there I couldn’t get ahold of for about a week and I was very aggravated wondering when I would get out on the 79 day they come to my cell and hollered smith pack your shit, again I was getting out of jail the good lord told me that I was going to hear something about my case over the weekend I had told another inmate that I was there with, so I get to the home confinement office they hook me up on a bracelet and tell me I have to have an physical address where I going and power to charge the bracelet and I couldn’t get back to jail I go cause I still had 1 more chapter to read in that book called “The purpose driven life”. On the way back God said son are you sure you are ready for this this is your last chance so I get back to jail and the next morning like I had been doing ate breakfast and like I had been doing ate breakfast and read the 40th chapter and they came into my cell again and hollered smith pack your shit I was free again. I ended up

 

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using and I realized that I needed to get help I went to Prestera in Huntington, WV to a 28 day program and graduated and though that I had beaten my addiction boy was I wrong I relapse my sister told me that I needed to work the 12 step program and get into a long term fascility. So I got into a program in Beckley, WV called “The Oaks” after being there a couple of weeks I was getting into arguments with another resident and felt that my safety was at risk so I left and used again the next morning I think it was god having this representative from the veterans hospital call me and asked if i would like to go to a program in Parersburg, WV. I said yes it was for 90 days. So a lady named Ashley picks me up at the veterans hospital in Beckley WV to take me there.

 

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But after getting there they kept me in a Summersville, WV program called Saint Joseph Recovery Center. I still thought that I was going to Parkersburg but I realized that God had put me here and if I would have left he would not have been with me. I am still in the program and learning alot about my higher power and tools that I need for when I get back into this forsaken world and to stay sober. Since I have been here I have been going by my middle name which is James. After I have been working the steps I have come to realize that I have had a spiritual awaking just like it says in step 12 that is the thanks to my higher power. He opened my eye so I realized that I am still the same Scottie but am changing daily to become a new human being. I also have realized that my sobriety goes like this. My past is gone and I can’t do anything about it but accept it my future hasn’t gotten here yet so what I can do is live at this time this moment and make a better decision for __ out of a future I

 

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might have if God gives me another breath. You see I will be a recovering addict of ever second of each and every day until god calls my number and I can only hope that I can influence and help someone else with the disease of addiction.

 

So the moral of my story is God and time. God saved me from death when I was born and in the car wreck after a couple of days momma said that a priest had come in with the doctors and said I wasn’t going to make but through her faith she kepy praying and God answered her prayer and they took me off of life support on christmas day in 1995. He has also kepy from death many other times from dope OD and narcan. I remember one time I woke up in the hospital and she said mr.smith you aren’t no spring chicken no more and that I was as close to death as anyone she had ever worked with and hit me with 4 cans of narcan. But God intervened and said it wasn’t my time yet. So by being here at SJRC they have saved my life and I will be graduating soon This time I will get it right because I have God’s help this time because I have finally recognized it seen

 

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It with my own eyes, It wasn’t my time to leave this world because God has a plan for me and when my time comes to leave this planet I will definately Be ready.